im going to be a lover.

i wonder if i wish really hard for something, will it come true? if i really strain and with deep passion wish for something, will it happen to me? im not saying to wish for a water bottle i cant be bothered getting up for to be suddenly in my hands but things that you cant control. ?? hmmm....we'll see....

all will be restored.

the rule game. your turn....

sometimes i feel like if i don't do something. i will die and never be able to do it again..regret that my fear stopped me from doing something simple yet scary at the time. simple as adding someone on facebook or approaching a stranger..when i think about it. if i do it? i mean so what? why do i make it in my head this big deal? why does it matter? i feel like all these rules have been made up about boys and girls..wait 2 days before you do this..only call after 3 days and ONLY WAIT FOR HIM! the funny thing is i go by these rules.and honestly it never really works out.than again i think i'm the exception.in everything i am the exception. i cant compare my life to someone else's.. i guess the same way someone else cant compare their life to mine. rules? how can a rule work for all? i mean the saying, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" should be the rule. the rule that the individual makes their own choice..are we all so similar that, that one rule works for all and i got lost somewhere on the way not understanding this rule? please someone tell me you have gone against the rule and it has worked out for you. please someone make me feel confident that there are more exceptions. maybe he really did loose the phone number..or maybe you are too pretty? ha! even i don't believe in that..if someone really lost your number i'm sure there are many other ways to find you. i guess i don't understand how it works, temptation to me is way to much to resist by these rules.
do we hold the happiness..or does someone else lead us the way? and if they don't arrive..will you be lost?
follow the rules is always the safest option but going against them is the biggest risk because at the end usually it doesn't work out. which one would you choose? risk it?......

it was one time

oh ladies ladies..big picture post :)

enjoy......

one day.

my mum is one lucky women. she found her one true love, she always says that she doesnt believe that everyone will necessarily find a person they will love with all their heart therfore never feel this satisfied yet painful feeling of such passion and emotion. my mum loves my dad. she adores him, she cant live without him. i sometimes think she wants to hurt him to make him feel just how she feels. if my dad isnt home, my mum will have constant headaches. she will look grey, not happy. when my dad is home, my mum is bright, she is happy. whenever my mum looks at me i can see that sunshine, she looks proud, "my little girl all grown up". but when dad is home and she looks at me, it so much more, simply no words. i hope one day i can meet a man i love so deeply. mum says sometimes its not a good thing. she gets hurt so easily by dad. i dont know if my dad has the same deep love for my mum. but he always tries with all his heart to not disappoint her, to make her proud and put a smile on her face. mums words are everything to him. i live in australia but my family came here about 11 years ago from ukraine, my whole world is different to everyone elses. my mum thinks differently, she sometimes doesnt understand the norms that are in australia..dont get me wrong, she is very understanding but about things she can relate to in ukraine, not so much about what is happening here in australia...im not complaining, my parents taught me to think on both sides and to consider all sides. thanks mum and dad...even though i sometimes dont seem like i appreciate it.i love you.

obsessed.

so to tell you a little bit about myself.. i am very obsessive. so when i like something i will obsess over it. for example..hummus, i loved the taste of it so i made some everyday and ate it all. i got sick. when i was younger i was obsessed about mary-kate and ashley, so i tried to get every picture of them..in the end the computer needed to be updated because i put to many photos on the PC and overloaded it..(my bad)
so now i love tattoos, don't get me wrong i don't want to be obsessed, just when i love something i want to be surrounded by it all the time. so now i want my 5th tattoo, i'm 18, friends and family are scared of whats going to happen to me when i hit 30..what will my body look like? i have been thinking about it, to make sure i am sure, to not make the wrong decision. and i have been thinking about it for 2 months. IM DONE THINKING. Im getting one!....okay there may be a little tini-wini problem..tattoos are expensive..so i don't exactly have money..is borrowing money too much from the parental's?? ahhh gosh what am i going to do with myself?